Since our engagement I've done a lot of thinking of what more we can do in our preparation for the sacrament of Marriage.  During all the thinking I came across the Marriage Vows used in the Liturgy for the Rite of Marriage.  During a daily mass which my fiancé and I attended the priest during the homily drew a beautiful parallel between the vows taken by a bride and groom and Sirach 6:5-17.

Rite of Marriage (#25)

I, (name), take you, (name), to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Sir 6:5-17

A kind mouth multiplies friends and appeases enemies,

and gracious lips prompt friendly greetings.

Let your acquaintances be many,

but one in a thousand your confidant.

When you gain a friend, first test him,

and be not too ready to trust him.

For one sort is a friend when it suits him,

but he will not be with you in time of distress.

Another is a friend who becomes an enemy,

and tells of the quarrel to your shame.

Another is a friend, a boon companion,

who will not be with you when sorrow comes.

When things go well, he is your other self,

and lords it over your servants;

But if you are brought low, he turns against you

and avoids meeting you.

Keep away from your enemies;

be on your guard with your friends.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;

he who finds one finds a treasure.

A faithful friend is beyond price,

no sum can balance his worth.

A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy,

such as he who fears God finds;

For he who fears God behaves accordingly,

and his friend will be like himself.

In sickness and health, good times and bad we vow to stand beside our spouses (who should happen to also be our good friends).  Scripture tells us when we find someone who is capable of such we have found a treasure.  This wasn't my first time reading this particular passage but it was my first time reading it from the perspective of wedding vows which so beautifully compliment it.  I've met quite a number of people in the short time I've spent on this earth and yet there is only a small group of people that come to mind in reading this passage.  But I have to be honest; in hearing it this passage time around a smile worked its way to my face because I realized that I was indeed marrying a treasure, a faithful friend and sturdy shelter.  Since the beginning of our courtship I was convinced that the concept of a stable and long lasting friendship makes for a holy and well discerned courtship and hopefully later on a holy and fruitful marriage.

I know it sounds cliché to say I’m marrying my best-friend but in this case I can really say that I am.  More than that is at first I only had a Christ-Centered friendship in mind.  Why?  Because I didn't think I had a chance at anything more than that!  Also, because she helped me mature spiritually and when she needed the help I wanted to be there for her as well.  But this Christ-Centered friendship is the basis for a Christ-Centered Courtship and then Marriage.  Then it becomes our defense against the temptation of seeing each other as simply business partners in a marriage contract in order to provide for children or even for ourselves.  Rather we are given a foundation to seek deeper purpose and meaning in our marital covenant.

On another note, In Sirach we read: "When you gain a friend, first test him, and be not too ready to trust him."  Imagine the caution we are called to in our friendships; "...and be not too ready to trust him." says Holy Scripture.  How much more caution should be thrown into the wind when discerning our own vocations.  Dating should not be a game where we jump from one "prospect" to another.  But a steady and mortified process where we practice our will and prayerfully discern God's own will.  That isn't to say we should put a time limit on such things but rather, a call to serious reflection and discernment rather than rushed decisions based on our passions and emotions.  It helps me appreciate more and more the many blessings God has brought to us and how he truly is the greatest Author and Lover.